How Asking Yourself Better Questions Can Change Your Life!
In this article I would like to dive deeper into the art of asking questions and why this can be life changing for you.
Ever since I started asking myself better questions, my life started to become better too. Most of our lives have become so busy today, that we have lost the connection to ourselves.
Asking questions can bring that connection back and with it a lot of clarity and healing.
In case you are asking yourself how are you, Bastian, an expert to talk about this?
Well, as I said, I have done this for myself and I have talked about it in other articles like “The Bear Cave Method” before. On top of that, I have built a whole Coaching Practice around it and asking questions is the #1 component. It has not just changed my life but several others as well. Thirdly I’m the creator of a new phenomenon called Souletters, where you are sent a daily question to reflect, envision and slowly change your life.
Convinced? Alright, let’s tackle this fascinating topic!
Asking and Listening
The truth is your whole life is built around questions. You are constantly asking yourself things. Consciously or unconsciously. So, to me there really is two components in asking yourself better questions that lead to change:
Well now you might already see, why this is difficult for a lot of people. Listening is not every one’s strong suit. Also, the noise in today’s world is on such a high level that it has become hard to hear your own desires and needs. Our attention span has decreased drastically and paying attention or being focused has become a new super skill.
What I’m trying to say with this is the following:
You can ask yourself the best questions but if you don’t truly listen to the answers that come up nothing is going to change.
It’s like learning new amazing theories without actually applying them into your life. It’s cool that you know but nothing really changes.
You Are Asking Yourself Questions All The Time
I have already made the claim that you ask yourself questions all the time.
Decision making for example. Isn’t that a bunch of questions you ponder about in your head?
What happens if I do this?
What happens if I do that?
Should I ask Susi out?
What will she think of me?
What if she says no?
I think you get the point. Our live is literally full of these questions. And most of them are actually responsible for all the suffering you experience. They lead to anxiety, overwhelm and insecurity. Why?
Because you start going down the rabbit hole and dig yourself deeper and deeper into it. That’s what a so-called negative spiral is. And here is the funny thing about it: It’s not real!
Of course, it is real Bastian, I could lose that job! Yes, true…or not.
Fact is, you don’t know. I don’t know. Nobody knows.
Really get this: NO ONE knows what’s going to happen!
Whatever you imagine, positive or negative, is basically a flat out lie. Now that is bad news and good news at the same time.
Bad because the suffering it causes is actually real and leads to real diseases. Physically and mentally. Good because it shows you where your superpower truly lies. You are the “Imaginator” in these scenarios. If you switch to imagining outcomes that feel better to you, the suffering ends. Understand this, in both cases you are the producer. The question now is:
Are you going to produce a Horror Movie or a Dream Hollywood story?
Pheew I genuinely hope that a lot of you reading this have already gotten some real revelations out of this!
I’m sure you understand now that the types of questions you ask, really is important and has a tremendous impact on how you experience life.
Now, let’s have a look at the listening part of the equation.
Are You Hearing Yourself?
I truly believe that another huge part of human suffering comes from not listening. Let me specify: Not listening to yourself!
Some other skills we have become really good at as a human race are: Non-Acceptance, ignorance and trying to control things. This type of suffering can really be summarized into one word, I will get to that in a minute.
As I just explained above, no one knows what’s going to happen. That means no one knows what you need, what is right for you or what your desires are. No one but YOU!
It’s such an individual thing that all you need to know is inside of you. All the answers are there within you already.
You know what I’m talking about. You ask yourself a good question and you might even hear an answer coming up, a spark that lights you up and then…you ignore it.
Or you put it away as silly. Or impossible.
This is not entirely your fault. It’s what you have been taught and how your mind tries to keep you “safe”. These behavioral patterns have been deeply ingrained into your subconscious mind since you were a child. So, it can’t be your fault if you are not truly aware of them. But let’s face it, all this, is a huge part of your suffering. As mentioned above I would summarize it into one word: Resistance.
Resisting what you feel.
Resisting what you think.
Resisting what is.
Take away your resistance towards anything and once again the suffering ends. Let me give you some examples of questions or statements that lead to that kind of suffering:
Why always me?
Why is this happening to me?
Who am I to achieve this?
I shouldn’t feel this way!
It shouldn’t be that way!
Do you see how that creates more tension and pressure? There are underlying and limiting beliefs at work that support these kinds of questions. That’s a topic for a whole other article though.
Instead, more beneficial questions to ask yourself, whenever you feel tension, frustration or anything like that could be:
What am I resisting at the moment?
How am I resisting it?
What do I need to let go of?
How is this helping me move forward?
What is it teaching me?
These are some powerful questions and I invite you to try them out for yourself. A great way to have that dialog with yourself is to journal about it. It gives you the time and space to truly listen and see the answers that emerge from within.
Journaling has changed my life. Period.
Asking Yourself Better Questions Is Life Changing
I really hope that I was able to state my case that asking yourself better questions and truly listening to the answers that come up can have a life changing effect and bring lightness and inner peace into your life. Because let’s be real. That’s what we all truly strive for. Inner Peace.
I’m not, in any way, saying that all this is easy, but it certainly is a simple concept! In fact, I believe it is one of the best personal growth tools there is. That is why I have combined the art of asking question with other very powerful concepts such as forming habits and created Souletters.
I would love for you to test it yourself and experience the power of it firsthand. All you have to do is follow my invitation to join the movement and start receiving your Souletters today for FREE.
Souletters is impacting so many people exactly because of its simplicity. Btw. Tony Robbins agrees with me in saying:
“The Quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask”
So I would like to ask you one last Question:
How do you feel after reading through this article?
You feel lighter, am I right?
What does that mean? It means that you have understood on an experiential level what I am talking about. Feeling lighter means that there was a release of energy. A release of resistance. A deeper understanding of yourself.
This is what Souletters does for you in a simple and fun way!
Thank you so much for your time reading through this. I truly hope that you found value in it. If you did, please share this article and support my work. It would mean the world to me!