Feeling like moving in cycles? Think again.
Do you sometimes feel that you are kind of stuck? You have the feeling that you are moving in cycles and always end up in the same spot? Same relationship, same job, same problems? You just keep hitting the same walls. Over and over again.
If you can relate to that you definitely do not want to skip this article. I’d like to change your perspective on the topic and give you a couple of questions to think about the next time you hit one of these walls again.
Hitting obstacles over and over again
Yep, I have been there many times in my life. In fact, I still hit these walls myself regularly. We all do. At one point in my life it hit me badly though. I was seeing the patterns very clearly and for a split second I had the feeling that I am at the exact same spot than I had been a year before.
It was a horrible feeling. All kinds of emotions running through me in the matter of seconds. Anger, frustration, helplessness, sadness and a lot of disappointment.
I was sitting in my room in San Diego with my life in pieces. At least it felt that way. Business gone, relationship gone, and I felt lost again. The feeling of being lost is something that has accompanied me my whole life. To feel that again after I had made so many steps towards my dreams was heart breaking.
Not knowing where to go or what I want is one of the worst feelings I know. That moment you feel you haven’t moved the tiniest bit and you are still in the exact spot you had started. I’m sure there is people who can relate to that.
Well let me help you to change your perspective a bit. Luckily for me (and you) I had quite a few realizations in that moment. One of them was:
It’s not true. It is not true that I’m at the exact same spot. It can’t be true.
That would mean I hadn’t learned, experienced or done anything in the past year. That was obviously not the case and so I asked myself why I felt this way again?
If the feeling now and the feeling from a year ago was the same but in between all was fine, what was the reason for that?
And suddenly I understood: I had hit a trigger.
You can call it a wall, an obstacle or whatever else you wish. It is something you need to overcome. It is something that triggers a feeling, emotion or memory within you. Something you locked away, tried to ignore or hurt you at some point. It wasn’t there for a year but something brought it up exactly in that moment.
That is also exactly the reason why you got there again in the first place. There is many reasons, why we come back to these blocks over and over again but I don’t want to get into them too deeply. That’s for another blog post.
Or several, haha.
But let me say this. Life makes you hit these walls over and over again in order to change you or teach you something. You see, each time you hit a wall you have the chance to do something differently. It is a chance to change. A chance to grow.
And now you might see why we needed all the stuff in between. It gave us more knowledge, understanding and wisdom to attack that obstacle.
We are not running in cycles, it’s an upwards spiral.
It might look and feel like the same spot but it’s not. All of it might almost be the same but one important thing has changed.
You are not the same person anymore. You have more experience, you learned new things and you have grown in so many ways during all that time. There are two possible and major perspective shifts here:
It is not happening to you but for you
You are not running in the same cycle but in spirals
Think of it like a game. It’s like leveling up in a way. Over and over again. Gaining experience points along the way until you are strong enough to break through.
In a way you can look at it as a gift from life to present you with chances to learn and level up. If you then finally do something differently you will have a different result. If you keep doing the same thing, guess what: same result.
So, becoming aware of these chances is key. To understand in the moment that you can make a different choice. That’s how you break through. The more often you do that the more your life will change.
There is a reason why your body communicates with you with feelings and emotions. It wants your attention. It gives you a hint. It’s like telling you that you need food. Same thing.
Ignoring it or suppressing it won’t work. That’s what you have done unsuccessfully so far. It needs to be understood, felt, experienced or accepted.
I’d like to give you a few questions to ask yourself when hitting these obstacles or walls. Questions to go deeper and look behind the curtains you have so successfully built to never ever feel that thing again.
[Exercise ] Here we go:
As always, I invite you to journal about these questions and really sit down with yourself. Listen to what you truly have to say deep within you.
- Instead of “Why is this happening to me?” ask yourself: What is this teaching me?
- What else could this mean?
- Is it true? Is it really, really true?
- What could I do differently this time
- What do I need to learn, understand or accept?
Did your perspective shift?
I hope you found some new insight within this article and new motivation to tackle your obstacles. I really hope that you will try to look at things from a different angle and explore deeper meanings. Most important during this process is that you are kind to yourself
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5 Simple Steps To Turn Overwhelm And Anxiety Into Clarity, Vision & Purpose
It is a practice. It takes time. We didn’t just learn to walk within a day. Keep that in mind. Each time we become aware we actively create positive impacts on ourselves which is freaking awesome!
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences! It means a lot to me and I’m sure others can profit from it as well. Let me know if you did the exercises and what came up for you.
You enjoyed this? Then make shure to download my FREE 5 Step Guide on how to turn Overwhelm and Anxiety into Clarity, Vision & Purpose!